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Gentle Teaching really made me assess my own life

Gentle Teaching has transformed the person I am as well as the person I aspire to be in many ways. What started out as a “job” in the beginning, quickly became “spending time with the guys” and this was because of Gentle Teaching. I think essentially, Gentle Teaching allowed me to understand the importance of living in the moment and appreciating the little things in life. I started realizing quickly the opportunities for learning and life experiences that these guys I support had missed out on through their lives because people who were supposed to “care” for them, honestly did not care. Showing them first hand that they are just like everyone else and have the freedom to make their own choices was sometimes anxiety filled. In the end though, not only did they learn something, but I did as well – how much I took for granted in my own life.

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Gentle Teaching really made me assess my own life to what I viewed as important and what others thought I viewed as important because these are very different categories. Gentle Teaching has allowed me to view situations from multiple perspectives which enhances my problem solving skills. I think someone cannot fully understand this culture of gentleness until they are fully immersed in it. In order to fully understand the culture of gentleness, it is important to allow yourself to be vulnerable not only with the individuals you support, but your support team as well. I’ve never had a job where I could discuss personal struggles with a coworker and come out feeling more equipped to support rather than being torn down and humiliated. I have truly been blessed with an amazing COR family and continue to grow and thrive because of them. Gentle Teaching quickly becomes a way of life and you begin to realize how often you use it outside of supporting. I look forward to using my experience with the culture of gentleness in my future endeavours of nursing and beyond.

Shelbi, COR Support

4to40 Press Conference: National Disability Employment Awareness Month recognized at the University of Regina

The University of Regina hosted a Press Conference on October 28th, 2016 in celebration of 4to40 and the National Disability Employment Awareness Month. The event was attended by over 100 employers, community leaders, partners and 4to40 job seekers.

We are proud to have Dr. Vianne Timmons, President of the University of Regina, Michael Hoffart, President & CEO of Farm Credit Canada, and Hon. Laura Ross, MLA for Regina Rochdale, support our efforts to increase employment opportunities for all those we serve.

You are true champions of inclusion!

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4to40 News ReleaseLink to the UofR Article: Celebrating Campus For All

Link to CKRM Article: University of Regina celebrates National Disability Employment Awareness Month

For more information on Inclusive Employment, visit: www.4to40.ca

 

Gentle Teaching has inspired me to become a better person

The way I maintain a culture of gentleness at COR is simply being friends with the individuals I serve. When I am supporting, I look at myself as a guest in a friend’s house. I am not there to ‘take charge’ and tell them how they need to be living their lives. Again, I am a friend and a friend will never judge a friend’s decisions. If anything, I would suggest better choices for them just like any other friend would. For example, if one of the individuals I serve wanted to spend their entire pay check on a $200 used game system, I may suggest other options for the reason of helping them manage their money or I may ask nicely how important the game system is to them. From there, they could hopefully tell me that the game system is not important enough that they spend their entire pay check on or they may choose a cheaper option. If not, they buy the game system and we move on. At the end of the day, it is their choice and if that choice makes them happy, that is all that matters.

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Gentle Teaching has inspired me to become a better person. I find myself using the Gentle Teaching philosophy in all aspects of my life, which has allowed others to feel more respected and warm when they are around me. My Mother first noticed this in me about two months after I began working for COR. She told me that I had came a long way with my personality and the way I show myself to others. Growing up, I was not the child with the best personality or the child with the most respect toward others. As I get older, I am improving in these things every day. It was nice to hear that from someone who sees me almost every day. I know that I am nowhere near perfect, but some progress is better than none. In the end, anyone can better themselves and no one is ever too old to improve.

 

Jason, COR Support

Fit & Fun Challenge

Fit & Fun Challenge

It isn’t a job! It’s a Culture of Gentleness!

Coming from a standard 9-5 job and not really knowing what all was out there for employment, COR seemed like it could be a new experience, but nothing more! Right from the minute I sat down for my interview I learned that I could not be more wrong. Everything felt different. In the sit down interview we hardly even spoke about the job! Sure I learned what I’d be doing, where I would be spending most of my time, and what was expected of me, but it was warmer than that.

The man who interviewed me asked what I liked to do. He actually cared about getting to know me! We talked about everything from the gym and martial arts; what I initially thought was an interview turned quickly into a conversation. I was spending time talking to someone,  getting to know someone.

Quote from Cole, COR family member

The feeling of having someone care about you and actually want to know, and include you in something this special was amazing! This feeling has only become more intense.

It is a feeling that has began to resonate within myself. I care about looking after and genuinely appreciate the young lady I support. I want to see her do all the things she has always wanted to experience. Watching her grow and learn that we are not the institutions she was accustomed to is uplifting to be a part of.

It’s a Culture of Gentleness, and it is what we strive in COR to instill within ourselves and in the people around us

The work we do is not about a pay cheque. The organization doesn’t allow for people with that mindset to exist within it. It grows us, and it is the 4 pillars that COR stands upon which make it so: safe,  loved,  loving  and engaged are 4 fundamental beliefs in COR that shook my ideas of what a “job” was supposed to be. It isn’t a job! It’s a Culture of Gentleness, and it is what we strive in COR to instill within ourselves and in the people around us. It is those fundamental values that take this “job” and changed it into a community.

 

Cole, COR Support

 

To truly promote a culture of gentleness one must apply it to all relationships in their life.

The nature of  the job at Creative Options Regina inspires  its employees to “take their work home with them”. It is my view that an ideal support at COR nourishes a culture of gentleness  in all facets of their life, not just when they’re on the clock at COR. Personally, I maintain a culture of gentleness in my life by applying gentle teaching principles to everyday relationships, and by persistent self development.

I firmly believe that gentle teaching is a mindset that one sees the world through. Although I feel that the pillars of gentle teaching are innate to me, there are always ways to improve and broaden ones understanding. Reading books about neuro-science and psychology has given me a much better understanding of myself, and hence others around me. I’ve learnt that you cannot truly understand others if you do not know yourself. The nature of my degree at the U of R has also contributed to my self growth at COR. The main objective of the inclusive education classes that I have taken is to provide people with intellectual disabilities the means  they need to succeed; many of these skills transfer over to my work at COR. Lastly, and most importantly, to improve my ability to create a culture of gentleness, I work on myself through introspection. For me it is as simple as writing thoughts, new knowledge, and questions down in a journal. This allows me to organize my thoughts and be able to focus on what is important when I am supporting.

As I mentioned above, to truly promote a culture of gentleness one must apply it to all relationships in their life. Naturally I apply what I have learned from gentle teaching trainings in my everyday interactions with the man I support, however, I am proud to say that I take my work home with me. I have used GT techniques to navigate my way through my relationships with family and friends. My relationship with my loved ones is one specific example where GT techniques have dramatically impacted my life. This way of life has enabled me to help a loved one through depression at a time when I was at a loss for what to do. I went from being just another person in their life, to being their mentor.

Personally I maintain a culture of gentleness in my life by applying gentle teaching

Upon doing my internship last fall at a community school, I quickly realized that the school setting was also a place where gentle teaching has great value. Being a community school, many of the students attending came from “rough homes”. My knowledge from COR enabled me to form meaningful relationships with my students. They were excited to come to school, and so was I. Being at school was home for many of the kids that I taught; I was the only stable adult in their lives. Were it not for gentle teaching I likely would have just been “another adult” to these students and squandered the opportunity to be a positive influence in their lives. Yet, with gentle teaching, I found I was being my candid self in front of the class, staying after school on my time to talk with the kids, and attending their events that they were passionate about such as sports, band and drama. I was completely invested in their lives.

The last facet of my life (and where it all started) where I promote a culture of gentleness is my relationship with the man I support. I often wonder whether he promotes a culture of gentleness in my life or I do his. Either way, I love the guy to death. He has been in my life for two years and he has become a brother to me. I’ve seen our relationship evolve from an awkward “get to know you” stage, to now, where we crack jokes and laugh our butts off. I feel like I can do and say anything at this point in the game with him. I trust him wholeheartedly and that trust is reciprocated. When he is upset I tackle his problems head on, I want him to be bigger than his fears and anxieties. I push him to be the best person that he can be. In any situation the end choice is always his; but you can bet that I’m challenging him improve the whole time. His growth in the past two years is astounding, it has been an absolute joy to watch him progress from one milestone to the next. In his life I switch between the roles of being his friend, family member, and motivator; it is a responsibility that I do not take lightly. My role in his life is ever changing as he becomes more independent, I promote a culture of gentleness in his life by actively listening and evaluating him, thereby providing the most effective support that he needs to succeed.

Creating and maintaining a culture of gentleness strictly within the individual I serve is a flawed mentality. To truly be an agent of gentleness one has to apply it to every area of their life. In doing this, I have found that each circle in my life feeds off of one another. Instead of feeling drained after a day with the students, I feel energetic and fulfilled, ready to support, and vice versa. At this point in my life I know one thing to be wholly true: My career will revolve around being in the “people business”. Gentle Teaching has proven to be a significant influence on me throughout day to day life in the early stages of my career. Without it I cannot say that I would be enjoying the successes that I am experiencing today.

 

Matt, COR Support

 

Who am I to come into this person’s home with demands and unrealistic expectations?

I consistently strive to build and maintain a culture of gentleness among the individuals I support and spend time with. When I am in someone’s home I try to put myself in their shoes. Who am I to come into this person’s home with demands and unrealistic expectations? Trying to be mindful of what I say/how I say it and how I present myself to the person receiving support is always at the forefront of my thoughts. By using the four tools (presence, eyes, hands, and words) positively, I continually try to build on the relationships I share with the individuals I serve.

I continually try to build on the relationships I share with the individuals I serve

Ensuring that person feels safe where they are and who they’re with is an important first step. Afterwards is the point at which the person can begin to be stretched and grow. Remembering that the relationship I have with the person I’m supporting is one of interdependence, allows me to teach as well as learn. This is an attitude that I attempt to maintain both within COR with the individuals being supported as well as in my other social circles.

 

Jordan, COR Support

 

Onward and Upwards…

In everyone’s life there are those moments or experiences that capture your full attention and enchant your heart. In my life I have had a handful of these experiences: including lying in a rain storm emotionally broken to which when the rain stopped craziest Northern lights began dancing across the skies, my first date with Larissa my beautiful wife and the days that both my children were born.  If you took the time, sat back and reflected on your life I too believe that you would pinpoint experiences that spurred a major reaction within you which kick-started a wave of changes: either big or small. As I sit in this opened aired mall, with people hustling and bustling around with only two weeks before Christmas, I confidently can say that Creative Options Regina (COR) has been added to my life experiences that have provoked change.

Nearly three years ago I took a position with Creative Options Regina after a friend and fellow wait-staff told me about her new position with “this super awesome organization!” The words that flowed from her mouth were captivating and got me excited! Not wanting to sound like a stalked, I hesitantly approached her and asked if she would be ok if I applied with this new-found organization. With a resounding  “YES!” I applied. in the following months, I quit my job as a waiter and engaged in full time support hours with COR. I don’t know if I ever really thanked this person allowed: so now is the time! Thank-you Brittany Bechard for your wisdom in knowing a little about my heart, ‘seeing something in me,’ and  encouraging me to apply. You are an incredible woman and those who you serve and support have a better quality of life because of you. When I first started supporting with COR I served Jesse, Jasen and Shaun. These men are incredible and taught me a lot about myself. Jesse’s determination to do everything in a day, Jasen’s love of authentic relationship and Shaun’s ability to be the slowest eater in the world taught me to embrace the small things, laugh, and rest in the fact that in those moments together nothing else needed to consume me: we were, and that was more than enough. A few short months after starting my journey with COR I was asked if I would consider moving teams to support a young man named Michael. Little did I know that this man would reveal my true colors, challenge me to be a better me, and become not only a friend but a brother.

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My journey with this man was not always easy. Sometimes it was hard. Perhaps it is just me, but I think it is the hard things in life that are worth fighting for. My journey with Michael led me to new heights, literally. In the summer of 2014 we were able to strike out on new adventures together, including a handful of roads trips and an airplane ride around the Regina city limits. Michael, and others in COR have become an intricate part of our family: coming over for meals, playing with our kids and engaging in this “thing” we call life. My words can’t express the joy and appreciation I have for each of the people who have come into my life during this time of my life.

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Though the people that I have been led to serve have impacted me tremendously: I have been equally left effected by those who I am blessed to call friends and coworkers. From the leadership of the management team, to the bravery of team leaders, to the humility of support people, you have sparked change in my life: Whether it is Jenna walking into my office to “just talk about life”, or going out for a drink with Ryan, Reid, Murray or Bart to talk about the philosophical structures of Gentle Teaching, I have been challenged and changed: Thank-you.

Perhaps this is why it is so difficult to write this blog: the relationships we have built matter! It is with a mixing pot of emotions that I write to tell you that as a family we have decided to resign from my position as Director of Culture and Mentorship and relocate. Our decision was one that was not taken lightly, or easily made. Every square inch of the effect of our decision was scrutinized and processed: to the point of believing that I needed a heart transplant.  It is with great sadness that we let everyone know that as of January 15th, 2016 we will no longer be serving at Creative Options Regina. This decision had little to do with COR and more with my own physical health, the health of our family and an opportunity that we believe will lead us to help spark change elsewhere in Saskatchewan.

As we prepare to leave there are a lot of details that we are hoping and praying will fall into place. But I am fighting hard to finish well. I believe that whatever my hand finds to do I have a role and a responsibility in helping it come to fruition: to pursue the best outcome possible. In the coming weeks, I will be focusing a lot of my time to the curriculum that I have been developing over the past year, along with finding moments to say those proper goodbyes.

If I may: and I will! I would like to leave you with a message of encouragement. It has often been said that Gentle Teaching carries a lot of power. While I don’t disagree with this completely, I believe that it can be refined all the more. Gentle Teaching equips people with the skills and tools to have a voice of influence, which in return equips you with a “power”. Now don’t misunderstand me: I am not suggesting that you are to have power OVER someone. Rather, you, yes YOU, have the ability to be a powerful influence. The way in which you choose to interact with someone, and the words that you use can and will change a person’s life. So I beg you: be kind, speak with wisdom, pursue good, love the lonely, hurting and brokenhearted, know that your purpose on this earth goes beyond the material things that we we can collect for ourselves. The relationships in which you currently find yourself (whether long-lasting or temporary) are the most meaningful. As you go through out your daily life, with friends, loved ones and team members, remember your tools. Your mouth is to speak kind words, uplifting others. When your hand is forced to address difficult situations remember that your words carry a powerful punch and even in the midst of addressing conflict or correction can become vessels of empowerment for those you are speaking to. Your hands are to be agents of care: assisting the homeless, uplifting the broken, encouraging the fearful yet doing all of this together. Your presence should display the message of your intent: I am here with you, through thick and thin. As I often have said my training’s, “we are in this together, because WE, well we are the dream team and nothing can stop us!” And finally use your eyes to empathize, sympathize and see the true story of peoples lives.  Our eyes should not just be used for the present, but be used for the future. Dream big dreams for both yourself and the person you are serving. Work hard not to become entrapped in what you see now, but dream about tomorrow. The people you serve deserve it, and so do you!

From my family to you: we thank-you for the impact that you have had in our lives.

With all of my heart and deepest gratitude,

Ben Raine

 

The Al McGuire Award Winner for Transition to Employment 2015 – Patrick Flaman

Creative Options Regina (COR) is very happy to annouce that our very own Patrick Flaman is the winner of the Al McGuire Award for Transition to Employment 2015. His work ethic and attitude are like no one else, Patrick is an exemplary employee and just an all around great guy. We’re proud to have Patrick a part of the COR family.

Patrick Flaman-Al mcguire Award winner

“Freedom”: Patrick’s Story

I was living in an approved home before COR. I had a friend that lived in COR and I started hanging out with him more and more. I stayed for sleepovers and his friends got to know me a little bit. He wanted me to move to COR… I guess he suggested it to somebody!

All my stuff was in boxes and bags It felt good to load it in. It felt like freedom

We had some meetings and then Andrew and Jim showed up one day with a U-Haul truck. All my stuff was in boxes and bags. It felt good to load it in. It felt like freedom. I threw everything in there. I came to the house, unpacked the U-Haul and there were lots of people helping me out. I didn’t sleep that night. It was a new environment for me and it took me a while to fall asleep the first couple of nights. Once I felt more comfortable it started to feel like home. I had things given to me for my apartment. On my birthday I was given things that I basically wanted. It was sort of weird at first. I had birthday parties before, but I never got things that I needed. My friends all bought me a Keurig for Christmas this year!

I’m going to a class that helps me deal with my anger, my anxiety, stuff like that. Some days I don’t really feel the greatest… and some days it could be like… I don’t know its kind of an up & down thing for me. Some days are tougher than others. That’s why I’m going to a class. I know that people in COR aren’t judging me or anything and that they are there to listen not scold you. They are there to help, they don’t say “wow that’s a dumb question to ask”, they just listen and try to help. When I moved in I needed somebody to talk to and I had a friend who would sit and listen, help me out and talk with me. It made me feel more comfortable because I know there is always someone to talk to if I need to. I get to go places like the bar, camping trips, hanging out with my friends. There’s not really a curfew. Your friends treat you like an adult, and if there’s a problem we sort of talk it out and work through it.

My friends helped me find a job. I work at Sasktel right on 1st Avenue and Broad Street, not too far from the COR office. I do lots of different things. I sometimes work in the warehouse, I clean 2701’s and 3801’s, just different modems. I sometimes clean ONT’s. It feels good to have a job. I’m not isolating myself because now I actually have a job where I’m responsible for getting up and getting to work on time. I was sort of nervous when I started. I was nervous to ask questions on my first day, but when I got more comfortable I sort of came out of my shell. When I’m on my own I have a thing called Facetime. My friends Facebook, Facetime, text me to make sure I’m okay and stuff like that.

I really like hanging out with people from COR. Going to BBQ’s, hanging out, playing football, just hanging out. There’s one thing that I have learned from that. I don’t look at their disabilities, I look at them as a person. I go to the dances and I have a friend that has MS, but I don’t look at her as MS. I just look at her as just one of my friends I can hang out with and laugh, do stuff with.

What is cor to you?

[What is COR all about?]

People caring about other people, people who are willing to listen, talk to you and make sure you’re alright. They are basically there for caring. COR has a website with lots of videos. Everyone is welcome here and everyone is equal. You should check it out. COR is an awesome place to live.

 

– Patrick