Posts

A culture of gentleness for me has come naturally by genuinely caring for the three gentlemen I serve.

A culture of gentleness for me has come naturally by genuinely caring for the three gentlemen I serve. Since I started at COR almost one year ago I have created relationships with the three guys I serve that without a doubt will last a lifetime. Being able to care for someone on a daily basis and watch them grow as people has been one of the most professionally satisfying accomplishments to date. Watching the look on the guys faces while they do things they love can turn even the worst of days around in a heart beat.

i-strongly-believe-the-culture-of-gentleness-is-created-by-those-who-we-serve

I would have to say I more so reciprocate a culture of gentleness however. To say I create a culture of gentleness would minimize the amount of caring that these individuals show us who come in to serve them. The three guys I support have some of the biggest hearts I have ever met. They will share what ever it is they have with out batting an eye. I strongly believe the culture of gentleness is created by those who we serve.

 

Danny, COR Support

 

How many jobs allow you to help improve the lives of others while building such meaningful relationships with those individuals?

When I heard the philosophy of Gentle Teaching, it seemed like the most simple and effective way of giving the individuals we support at COR the best quality of life. Safe, loved, loving and engaged- the four pillars that make up Gentle Teaching- make so much sense! When I look at my own life, I know that with these four pillars present I feel the most valued so I want to always make sure that the girls I support feel that way too.

Whether the girls are having a good day or a bad day, I feel like it is important to make sure they know they are still loved unconditionally and supported no matter what. I want them to feel that they can approach me and feel comfortable to communicate and be themselves with me. I feel that I best deliver a culture of gentleness through my communication. I let the girls know that I am here for them, we build trust in each other, and strong relationships form. I always remember that the girls are people first. We all go through rough times but that doesn’t mean that they are any less than anyone else. When, for example, the girls feel down, maybe frustrated or upset, we use our ability to communicate to help them get back to feeling their best. It is important for them to know that they are not bad nor have done something wrong. Instead, we talk through the situation in a way which lets them know that they are still supported and loved and our relationship has not changed. Having patience and a sense of calmness often works in the house that I support at. When the girls see that I am open to helping them and keeping them feeling safe and loved they respond better in the ways we communicate.

the-benefits-i-see-in-the-individuals-lives-that-come-from-the-culture-of-gentle-teaching

I feel like in order to maintain a culture of gentleness it is important to not think of supporting as work. At the end of the day, yes this is a job, but it is so much more than that. How many jobs allow you to help improve the lives of others while building such meaningful relationships with those individuals? The benefits I see in the individuals lives that come from the culture of gentle teaching make my life as a support so rewarding. Because of the benefits I see with Ruby and Lanie and the way Gentle Teaching works with them it motivates me to continue the way I approach my support times with the girls. They have experienced a lot of change in the last 6 months which can easily take a toll on them. Seeing the way our team has used gentle teaching over these last 6 months and the positive improvements it has made with the girls just reinforces once again the impact that it has and the importance of maintaining it in the way we support.

 

Elise, COR Support

 

Gentle Teaching has transformed the person I am today; I see differently; I speak differently; I touch differently; I vibe differently.

How has Gentle Teaching transformed the person you are or aspire to be?

For the first time in my life, I am employed by a company that has the same philosophies as me and provides countless opportunities and encouragement to dive deeper into an exciting journey of self exploration and self development. I will be forever appreciative for this experience.

Gentle Teaching has transformed the person I am today; I see differently; I speak differently; I touch differently; I vibe differently. I now understand how paramount things like safety, love, and engagement are in maintaining my current relationships and also building new, healthy, empowering relationships.

Gentle Teaching has also transformed the hundreds of interactions I have each and every single day, whether that be with my family members, partners, friends, i-see-differently-i-speak-differently-i-touch-differently-i-vibe-differentlystrangers, or my pets. For example, I am constantly practicing Gentle Teaching with my fur-babies: two beagles. Beagles are stubborn, messy, loud, and stinky … but they also give the best cuddles, are the source of many laughs, and love me unconditionally. Sometimes, when they are not getting the proper attention and engagement that they need, they eat everything (literally everything – the bed frame has large chunk missing and the phone jack has been eaten off the wall), they puke on the new couch, howl at my neighbours, and are incredibly stubborn to train. Despite all of this chaos they cause in my life, I find it so easy to love them unconditionally. I no longer raise my voice or punish them when they do wrong. I only use touch and words in a positive way. However, sometimes when I feel like I cannot properly practice Gentle Teaching with my dogs and need time to myself, the pups visit Gramma and Grampa; this allows me time to recharge and recover so I can give them the best care I can. Gentle teaching has strengthened my relationship with my pets which is transferable to every other relationship in my life.

Despite all of the changes I’ve made so far, I’m not perfect. While I try my best to practice what I preach, sometimes I slip up. Honestly, I still aspire to be a more patient person. At the beginning of my Gentle Teaching journey, I often lost my patience on insignificant things; bad drivers, needy dogs, demanding partners. I feel like along my gentle teaching training was also a lesson in patience. I now know that the person is more important than the task at hand. It also taught me that, in disagreements, I no longer need to have the last word. Also, sometimes people have bad days and I do not need to take it personally. Hopefully, the relationship I have with that person was built on such a strong foundation that they can offer me the same compassion and understanding that I would offer to them when they need it most. I am also doing my best to love people unconditionally and aspire to have a positive journey to love without conditions and BE loved without conditions.

I have only been practicing Gentle Teaching for about a year. Now that I have a taste of this philosophy, I want to continue to change. I want to know more. I want others to learn the benefits of gentle teaching. I want to lead by example. I want to make a difference.

 

Diandra, COR Support

 

It is an amazing thing to be surrounded by so many kind, genuine, and warm individuals

The way that I create and maintain a culture of gentleness surrounding the women I support is through curiosity, warmth, and the building up of others. These three elements feed into one another and are tangibly helpful in sustaining the positive morale and affectionate atmosphere that are vital to a culture of gentleness.

Curiosity implies interest, attention, respect, and good-naturedness, all of which are essential to building and maintaining a culture of gentleness. In the time I have been supporting at COR, I have consistently made a point of asking questions and approaching those I serve and my team with openness and attentiveness. I have found that it is much easier to build pleasant, amicable, and trusting relationships when the other senses your interest in them. Approaching the individuals I serve with curiosity means that I do not assume I know what they want, nor do I cut them off mid-sentence because I think I know what they will say. Instead, I try to listen with fresh ears every day in hopes that I might see and hear things that might otherwise get missed for that individual. Approaching my fellow team members with curiosity means asking how their day went and actually listening to the response. It means refraining from gossip or judgement when someone has made a mistake, and giving that person the benefit of the doubt. I truly believe that this is an essential piece to maintaining good team morale, and by extension, a happy and healthy emotional climate surrounding the individuals we serve.

it-is-an-amazing-thing-to-be-surrounded-by-so-many-kind-genuine-and-warm-individuals-and-to-feel-safe-from-judgement-ridicule

Hence, I take that curiosity one step further by projecting genuine warmth and care to everyone in our circle. The most important aspect of the culture of gentleness for me is the sense of ease and comfort I feel when approaching others within our community. It is an amazing thing to be surrounded by so many kind, genuine, and warm individuals and to feel safe from judgement, ridicule, or rejection when moving through said group. It is important to me that others feel that same security in me, and so I strive to project amiability, not only to those I support and my teammates, but to everyone else within our immediate community.

That warmth and openness can be taken even further in the form of building up others around me. Greeting an acquaintance by name, remembering what they like, or asking a thoughtful question can make them feel seen and important. Encouraging and complimenting can likewise give someone a well-needed boost to keep doing their best. If I can build up the individuals I support, other supports or even COR friends and family members by doing any of these things, then that person I uplift is more likely to turn around and pay the same kindness forward to someone else. That, to me, is life force behind a culture of gentleness.

 

Ashley, COR Support

Gentle Teaching has transformed the person I am and the person (and nurse) I aspire to be

Without a doubt, Gentle Teaching has transformed the person I am and the person (and nurse) I aspire to be. Gentle teaching isn’t a job, or just an area within COR that I happen to work in, but a lifestyle and something I plan to carry with me for the rest of my life as I have seen the difference it can make. Gentle Teaching hasn’t changed the world around me, but has taught me how to change things in myself. Simply putting it, gentle teaching has changed my life and because of it, made me a better person. It has given me a new lens to view the world, and new ways to interact with the people in it. It has given me the tools to build genuine and loving relationships with the people in my life. Gentle teaching has shown me that everyone, from the individual that I serve with COR, to my friends and family, to the patients I care for, to people I meet out in the community, all have things I can learn from them and without gentle teaching I wouldn’t have the tools to make these meaningful connections and allowing me to learn so much from others. Since working with COR I have realized that the individual I support has taught me so many things about life, about resilience, and about kindness. He has been an incredible teacher and a great example of how to be loving towards others, and how much a smile and a simple ‘hello’ to a stranger is appreciated. And as much as I hate to admit it now, something I would avoid prior to working with individual I serve.

gentle-teaching-hasnt-changed-the-world-around-me

In my journey of becoming a nurse, I have seen a lot of people, especially many nurses, that have forgotten that people deserve to be treated like exactly that, a person. Not a disease, diagnosis or disability, not a room number or the next thing on a never ending to-do list, but a person. Generally in the hospital setting a patient is probably having one of their worst days, and the simple acts of kindness, compassion and a human connection can make an incredible difference for them. Nursing is a demanding profession and it can be easy on a busy day to become overwhelmed and forget that our job is to care for our patients. It is easy to become frustrated and cold towards them and be upset that they need so much from us. Going forward in my nursing career I will always use the tools that gentle teaching has given me and incorporate them in to my nursing practice as much as any other skill or technique that I have acquired over my time as nursing student. I will always treat my patients as people first and not the issues they are dealing with. I will remember that it is the changes that I make within myself when caring for them that makes the difference. I plan to always be genuine with my patients and make the time to build unconditional relationships with them, providing an environment for them to feel safe, supported and secure with me, allowing us to work towards the goal of health and wellness together. Gentle Teaching has been an invaluable tool for me, and I am so thankful that I found this organization and discovered this way of life.

 

Kate, COR Support

Gentle Teaching is a blessing and reprieve from a life of conditioning

The ability to sense the layers of our reality through the five senses is a cognitive ability I never thought that I had been taking for granted. To slip on ice and understand that I will experience a fall. To put a cup to my lips and taste water. If I place my hand on a wall my mind interprets the grainy textures, red flecked colours and weight. What would happen if suddenly my arm were to plunge through to the other side. I would likely be over taken by shock, a deep surprise that would freeze my body. Slowly my senses would reestablish however that I was okay. My hand fine, and light and air pouring through the hole. How would my life feel if I wasn’t able to navigate these obvious, and simple experiences?

My gentle teaching is helping those individuals to understand that there is a safety in times of disparity, encouragement in fear and acceptance in embarrassment

When I put a cup to my lips my reality rudely interrupted by past phantoms telling me to not make sucking noises like an animal. While walking, to fall and not have the certainty of a welcome hand to help me up, but instead the creeping fog of embarrassment. Reality, perception, both faculties of my mind that the individuals I serve do not always have the privilege of captaining. For them gentle teaching is a blessing and reprieve from a life of conditioning that what fears may exist in the folds of their reality may mean embarrassment, discouragement and ridicule. My gentle teaching is helping those individuals to understand that there is a safety in times of disparity, encouragement in fear and acceptance in embarrassment.

 

Murray,

COR Family

 

GT has influenced my identity as an education student by helping me incorporate ideas into inclusive classrooms

Gentle Teaching (GT) is a philosophy rooted in the recognition of all people having the right to be treated in positive ways. This helps me to remember that all people are inherently good and deserve the best of any situation. As a result, I debate that GT has positively transformed the person who I am and aspire to be. This is revealed through my transformations of identity as a future teacher and my identity with the person who I support.

GT has influenced my identity as an education student by helping me incorporate ideas into inclusive classrooms. My major in Physical Education and minor in Inclusive Education (Special Education) directed me to define GT in a way I can use in classrooms. GT implies that everyone has the right to be treated with respect and patience and that it is my responsibility to create an environment where everyone’s differences are embraced. This is an environment where no matter peoples race, religion, ability, disability, sexual orientation or other differences everyone deserves quality education that is appropriate for that individual and helps them to progress mentally and physically in a positive way. The use of the Four Pillars of GT: safe, loved, loving, and engaged are also useful part of my philosophy. All four pillars are needed for a student to learn at their full capability. This is because people need to feel safe in their surroundings in order to learn; similar to Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs being necessary for survival. As a result of GT influencing my teaching philosophy my future students will be able to learn and move in a positive space and encourage me to have positive interactions with them.

gentle-teaching-is-a-philosophy-rooted-in-the-recognition-of-all-people-having-the-right-to-be-treated-in-positive-ways

GT has greatly influenced my relationship with the woman who I support. The Four Pillars along with the Tools of GT: presence, words, hands, and eyes help me to create an environment where Angie feels safe and trusts me. Given the history of institutionalization in Saskatchewan, GT has helped her and I to build a strong relationship that is more than a worker client mentality. We create a space for each other where we can have fun and help each other grow by loving and supporting each other. The use of hands and the element of touch are important to her relationships as she is the first person to want a hug in any situation. Her “squishes” are also important; this is a type of deep pressure therapy which allows her to relax in most situations. These are parts of her relationships that benefit her greatly and were not part of her previous relationships due to philosophy restrictions.

Overall, GT is a positive alternative to traditional philosophies involving people who have disabilities. GT goes beyond support times and into the lives of those who embrace its qualities. This is shown through my identity as a future teacher and my identity as a support person. Not only does GT improve the quality of life of individuals who are supported it also improves that of people who believe in the philosophy and those around them.

 

Andrew, COR Support

 

Gentle Teaching isn’t about trying to change behaviour…

Through my 3 and a half years of experience with COR and the philosophy of Gentle Teaching, I have attained a wealth of knowledge and an everlasting impact on my life. When I first started with COR, just like most people, I was a bit skeptical of the whole ideology of unconditional love. In latent terms, I perceived it as ‘give them whatever they want’ or ‘they can do whatever they want without consequences’. At the time, I failed to realize it was so much more than that. The whole basis of Gentle Teaching isn’t trying to change the individual’s behaviour, but rather changing our approach on how we serve the individuals.

My ability to use Gentle Teaching had never really been challenged until I began supporting at a new home and more specifically supporting one individual at that home. When I began, to be 100 percent honest, I was quite nervous. I had heard all the stories that this was the hardest team to support on. To my surprise, it really wasn’t! I got off to a good start with two of the guys. The only one I hadn’t connected with was one of the guys. Every time I would enter his space or try to interact with him, he would completely shut me down. This really bugged me personally. I am the type of person who really likes to get along with everybody, and at times, will over step boundaries to be liked by that person. This happened one day when I was supporting him. I came in that day with what I thought was a solid game plan. I was going to force myself to stay with him, we were really going to joke around and have an awesome time together. I also had the idea to take him to a Rider practice that day thinking it was going to be an amazing experience. I was completely wrong. Sure, he enjoyed the idea of going to Rider practice and seeing all his favourite players, but he still didn’t feel safe around me. I struggled to interpret what he was saying numerous times throughout the day and it led to numerous negative moments, the worst being at the Rider practice where he hit me. After that day, I came to realize that by forcing myself to be in his space, I had removed one of the most fundamental and most important pillars of Gentle Teaching; feeling safe.

They have taught me if I adjust how I provide care and unconditionally love them, rather than force them to be who they are not, that they will reciprocate it back in their way

In order to fix this, I needed to change how I provided care, while also trying to encompass the tools of Gentle Teaching to build the four pillars. For the next couple of months, I took a step back and really focused on observing, rather than forcing myself into situations for my own personal reasons. I was selective and patient in choosing the times that were appropriate to help strengthen his sense of feeling safe around me. Most of these interactions were focused around watching sports games or going out to grab a drink from 7/11. I tried keeping the interactions short and consistent allowing him to become comfortable around me. As time passed, I was able to get him to feel safe by changing how I provided for him. Once I had the sense of feeling safe around me, the other three pillars (feeling loved, feel loving towards others, and feeling engaged) came much more naturally.

Through my experience with all the individuals I support, they have had an everlasting impact on my life. They have taught me if I adjust how I provide care and unconditionally love them, rather than force them to be who they are not, that they will reciprocate it back in their way.

 

Brydon, COR Family Member

My First Two Weeks with COR

When I first came to COR I didn’t know what to expect. Much like the first day of school, I held my lunch kit close to me – as it is the only thing I knew in my unusual surroundings – and made the tentative first steps towards my desk. I expected the commonplace whisperings from the corners of the office, “Who is that?” “Is that the new guy?” as they avoided all eye contact and slithered back to their desks checking emails all the while telling myself how silly I was for leaving my comfort zone and placing myself in such unfamiliar territory…

Except none of the snickers happened – not did I have regrets for leaving the cocoon that was my last job. I was greeted with smiles, handshakes, and most importantly laughter. Everyone welcomed me and assured me that my first few days were going to be great. They didn’t lie. My first few days flew by as I fell into my new position and started meeting my new colleagues. Any questions I had were greeted with friendly and encouraging answers. It felt great to be part of a positive team again; more importantly it felt that I was an actual team member, an equal; no one was higher or lower on the corporate ladder – we were all one big team working together to help those that we serve.

I have had the chance to experience many community building activities since arriving at COR. I joined the Dragonboat team and even went kayaking with the people with serve – an experience that was so fun, I am thinking of buying my own Kayak! I have been invited out to the art night and cannot wait to attend my first COR BBQ. This is only the tip of the iceberg of activities COR has to offer and I cannot wait to be a part of them all. All of these unforgettable experiences are what makes COR special. You would not be able to find this at any other place of work.

Meeting all the people we serve was the greatest part of my first few weeks. Having limited experience working with people with disabilities had me a little nervous. After the first few days and after meeting quite a few of the people we serve I look forward to having great conversation and interactions with everyone I have met day in and day out – there is no lack of positivity in this workplace and I am elated to have made the step to work at COR.

I am now finishing my second week here at COR and time continues to fly. I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything – I am looking forward to many more years with COR and to help all those we serve to smile and laugh every day. Shoot for the Stars!

 

Tom,

Administrative Assistant

 

All ideas are valued and appreciated

Health and Fitness has always been a passion of mine and I have been trying very hard to promote that within our team. I have taken the lead with healthy grocery shopping and meal planning with the individuals we serve, but I have also been promoting our supports to do the same. When speaking to the team about proper nutrition, I open-the-floor for supports to share their ideas on how to promote a healthy lifestyle as well. All ideas have been valued and appreciated.

I hope to continue to promote health and fitness within our team

The team has come together in encouraging the guys to eat more food in a day and at proper times. I have also made it a priority to have the guys eat as many meals together at the table with their support. It promotes a sense of family and togetherness. I stress the importance of proper nutrition and reduced sugar in our diet. The team has been making better choices with what they buy for foods too.

One of the guys is also taking an interest in his health and he is becoming more internally motivated to keep his body healthy. I cook meals with him every few weeks and then freeze them so he has easy access to healthy and tasty meals that he can warm-up on his own. The rest of our supports have also been taking an initiative in getting him more physically active and eating healthy. I take him to the gym every week and he now looks forward to going and works very hard. My culture of gentleness definitely is reflected in my passion for keeping the individuals we serve physically healthy and happy. I am proud of them for telling me the things they like and don’t like when it comes to healthy meals and being physically active. I am also proud of our supports for being consistent in making health a priority. I hope to continue to promote health and fitness within our team, as it has benefited the overall quality of life with the individuals we serve.

 

Kyla, COR Support