Culture of
Gentleness

Since our inception in 2009, COR has embraced the philosophy of Gentle Teaching and has asked its caregivers to utilize this alternative approach to supporting people. COR has put aside traditional practices of support such as physical management, restraint and consequences. A culture of gentleness does not accept interventions based on the use of reward and punishment designed to modify personally and socially destructive actions.

What is Compassionate Caregiving?

The COR Approach

Before any learning is possible, we must first teach that it is safe to be with us, that the other person is good, and that we value them, regardless of what they do, or do not do. The caregiver must develop a sense of inner peace, conveying warmth and love during good moments and bad. Bringing messages of non-violence, forgiveness, empathy and total acceptance – our central purpose is to teach the value of companionship and to develop a sense of community with those we support.

The development of new memories Feeling accepted as a person

Feeling safe within oneself and with others Being an active participant in one’s own life project

Feeling loved, respected and even noble Feeling the power and strength to help others and live in community

When you are
with me, you are
Safe and Loved.

The first duty of a caregiver is to assure each person protection from any harm, primarily through a sharp eye on prevention, constant nurturing and loving interactions.

The Gentle Teaching approach encompasses a transformation of both the marginalized person and the caregiver. Culture of gentleness is not an approach that presents fixed and immutable answers that caregivers follow in a lock step manner. It is one that asks caregivers to interact within a broad framework based on the prevention of harm and the expression of unconditional love. Harm’s prevention often initially involves giving the person what he/she wants, as long as it is not harmful, so that the caregiver can enter the person’s space and begin to teach, “When you are with me, you are safe and loved.” Individuals learn to see their caregivers as authentic companions and to slowly learn to trust others in the broader community.

A culture of gentleness is woven into all aspects of the organization – in the people it hires, how each person is mentored, and in the selection and support of individuals and families. This culture is about us as caregivers coming to the people we support in a non-violent way; non-violence is the understanding of what the other person perceives as violent – not what we perceive as violence.

A critical part of this culture of gentleness involves shedding some common attitudes that lead to intolerance toward ‘troublesome’ people. A person’s value is not based on their behaviour – what they do, or do not do with us, or for us; it is inherent and unchanging. Once people learn that we value them, they can then learn to value others – that it is good to be with others and do things with others.

Love is impossible if the person does not feel safe.

Feeling safe is vital in Gentle Teaching; it means that the person starts to feel unafraid of our presence. Feeling loved embodies the characteristics of feeling safe, but with a deeper sense of feeling safe. It creates an urge for the person to be with us, to come to us, and to want to stay with us. It can involve reaching out to us or seeking a hug from us. It is seen in a smile, a warm gaze, walking happily toward us, accepting and giving an embrace, and a host of other indicators.

It is important to recognize that old memories cannot be immediately eradicated; it is our hope to help the person evolve new memories starting with the feeling of being safe and loved. It is only when one feels both safe and loved that the individual may begin to express love toward the broader caregiving community and become engaged more fully in the outside community. These purposes are essential in all moral development and are the core of our human interdependence and connectedness with others. One’s focus must center on who the person is becoming, not what we might want to get rid of.

As part of a culture of gentleness, COR has developed a flexible, person-centred approach and a quick-to-respond management model that recognizes the depth of each person’s past experiences and the wounds and scars that these have left on the hearts and souls of those served. COR places a significant emphasis on the education and mentoring of its caregivers, as well as celebrating and sharing each person’s talents and gifts.

The use of traditional approaches and practices based on control and compliance emphasize the changing of the other person; Gentle Teaching challenges caregivers to change themselves and base their interventions and relationships on unconditional love. COR asks its caregivers to see themselves as companions to marginalized persons; for it is the responsibility of the caregiver to initiate and initially present and sustain this mutual transformation process.

COR is actively collaborating with its Gentle Teaching International partners to strengthen our culture of gentleness through the development of Gentle Teaching Mentors and Trainers right here in Saskatchewan!

Tools Mentorship

Resources Conference