Archive for category: Gentle Teaching

Gentle Teaching As Our Core: Rediscovering the Basics Together

At the 2024 Gentle Teaching International Conference, Simone Schipper and Floris van de Kamer invited participants to return, not to something new, but to something essential: the heart of Gentle Teaching. Their session, “Gentle Teaching As Our Core: Our Basics Rediscovered,” was not just a presentation. It was a guided experience in reflection, connection, and re-grounding.

Together, they offered a reminder that sometimes, in the midst of progress, innovation, and busyness, we need to pause and revisit our roots. Not as an act of going backward—but as a way of going deeper.

Visualizing the Core: Gentle Teaching in a Single Image

At the centre of the session was a newly unveiled visual artwork, designed by tattoo artist and Gentle Teaching mentor, Beatsmith. The piece, vibrant and symbolic, brought together the philosophy’s core elements in one cohesive image. Participants had already glimpsed it through stickers handed out at the door, each representing an element of Gentle Teaching’s pillars or tools.

The image wasn’t just decoration. It was a conversation starter, a mirror, a teaching aid, and a reminder that visual storytelling can carry the weight of deep meaning.

Simone and Floris shared the motivation behind the artwork: they wanted something you could hang on your wall, something you’d want to hang on your wall—something that could speak to both the heart and mind. As Simone said, it’s an image she hopes will one day accompany her book, becoming a lasting part of how we teach and remember the basics of Gentle Teaching.

Back to the Pillars: Safe, Loved, Loving, Engaged

With a room full of people, the session asked: What do these words truly mean to you?

They returned to the four core pillars:

• Safe: As Floris reminded us, “When there is no safety, there is no learning.” Safety is foundational. It’s not just physical—it’s emotional, relational, and cultural.

• Loved: Feeling seen without needing to explain yourself. It’s in the quiet understanding, the knowing look, the small acts that affirm your worth.

• Loving: As one participant said, it’s not only about receiving love—it’s also about having the freedom and safety to give love. To show warmth and care to others.

• Engaged: Engagement is where relationships live and grow. It’s about showing up for others and inviting them in, in ways that are meaningful to them—not just what we assume connection should look like.

Together, these pillars create the condition for something Gentle Teaching calls companionship—a sturdy ship, as Simone and Floris joked. It’s a vessel strong enough to carry us through both calm and stormy waters, powered by collective care.

The Tools of Gentle Teaching: Rediscovered Through Dialogue

Beyond the pillars, the Gentle Teaching philosophy includes four relational tools: Eyes, Voice, Hands, and Presence.

Simone and Floris invited attendees to engage in small group discussions around these tools. Each person gravitated toward a symbol that resonated most with them, joining others at poster stations for guided reflection.

The conversations that followed were rich, vulnerable, and deeply human.

 

Here are just a few of the insights shared:

• Eyes: A participant with ADHD shared how their wandering gaze can be misinterpreted as disinterest. Another said that eye contact, for them, is the deepest form of connection. And yet another reminded us that furrowed brows or rolling eyes can shut down trust just as quickly as words can build it.

• Voice: Voice is more than sound—it’s expression, connection, reassurance. Even for those who don’t use verbal speech, the tone and intention of a caregiver’s voice carries love and safety.

• Hands: Conversations around hands centered on consent and intent. Touch can be healing, but it must be respectful and mutual. It’s not about what we want to give—it’s about what others are ready to receive.

• Presence: Some spoke about showing up with calm and attunement. Others noted how presence must shift based on the person and the moment—it’s not one-size-fits-all. Sometimes we lift up. Sometimes we simply sit beside.

Defining Engagement: More Than Activities

A group discussing “Engaged” reflected on how often systems push for activity over authenticity. One participant shared how they shifted their support from “getting people out into the community” to simply setting the dinner table together. The table became a space for quiet connection—no fanfare, just presence and care.

Engagement, they reminded us, doesn’t always mean doing more. Sometimes, it means doing less—with more intention.

Rediscovering What Matters Most

In true Gentle Teaching fashion, the session didn’t end with a takeaway—it ended with a shared experience. Participants were invited to reflect on their own stories and sense of connection to the philosophy’s elements. Many shared memories of breakthroughs, moments of joy, or times when a simple gesture changed everything.

Simone and Floris reminded us that while the storms of life—both personal and professional—are inevitable, the strength of companionship helps us weather them. And that no matter where we are in our journey with Gentle Teaching, it’s always okay to revisit the basics.

Because the basics aren’t just where we started—they’re what carry us forward.

A Lasting Image

As the session wrapped up, attendees were invited to take home the sticker set and poster that anchored their discussions. Not just as a keepsake, but as a tool—for teaching, for remembering, and for reconnecting with what Gentle Teaching truly is at its core.

Whether you’re new to the philosophy or have lived it for decades, Simone and Floris offered this gentle reminder: the heart of the work is simple, but not easy. And when we come back to its foundation—safe, loved, loving, engaged—we find not only our purpose, but our people.

Speakers: Heather Hynd and Brad Schneider

Heather & Brad Share Their Journey with Sexuality, Disability and the Power of Education

At a self-advocacy panel titled “The Lived Experiences of Sexuality & Disability,” Heather Hynd and Brad Schneider took the stage with courage, humor, and honesty. Representing COR and their broader community in Saskatchewan, these two individuals opened up about their journeys through the Tell It Like It Is program—a comprehensive and inclusive sexual health curriculum designed for people of all abilities.

Right from the start, Heather and Brad lit up the room with their personalities. Heather introduced herself as someone who loves going to the movies—Super Mario Bros. being a recent favorite—and spending time with friends. Brad, who’s a passionate gamer (shout out to Knack), shared his love for movies and video games.

But beyond the fun facts and laughter, their message was deeply impactful.

Why Talk About Sexual Health?

Both Heather and Brad emphasized the importance of sexual health education—not just for people with disabilities but for everyone. As Brad put it, “I want to be a teacher and make everyone laugh and learn.” Heather added that it’s vital for people, including caregivers and those with disabilities, to have safe, inclusive spaces to explore these topics—especially when they don’t know how to express their feelings or ask the questions they’re holding onto.

“I was scared at first,” Heather said, reflecting on earlier experiences with sexual health classes in school. “The environment didn’t feel safe. I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings.” But everything changed when she encountered Tell It Like It Is.

Learning Through Tell It Like It Is

Both Heather and Brad have taken the Tell It Like It Is program multiple times—Heather estimates six! Each time, they learned something new and gained deeper confidence. Brad shared that smaller class sizes made a big difference for him: “When the classes were smaller, I learned more.”

So, what do they actually learn in the program?

• Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships: Heather emphasized that understanding what you need in a relationship—and how to ask for it—is empowering.
• Body Autonomy & Consent: “Consent is very important because it gives people permission before you touch their bodies,” Heather explained. “It protects both people.”
• Hygiene & Self-Care: Brad humorously but honestly highlighted the importance of hygiene in relationships: “You want to smell good for your boyfriend or girlfriend. Not stink them to Mexico!”
• Safe Sex & Protection: Heather expressed a strong interest in learning more about how to protect oneself and practice safe sex. “That’s something I want to talk more about in the future.”

And yes, they both recommend Tell It Like It Is to others—enthusiastically.

Advice for Caregivers & Educators

Brad and Heather offered heartfelt advice for caregivers, support people, and anyone thinking about facilitating the program. Their message? Show up, learn together, and create space for real conversations.

“It gives you lots of information to really protect yourself,” Brad shared. Heather encouraged future teachers to sit in on a class to get a feel for how to create a welcoming, judgment-free zone.

They also touched on the realities of online spaces and how important it is to access content that is safe, respectful, and consensual—especially when navigating adult material online.

What’s Next?

As they looked to the future of the Tell It Like It Is program, both Heather and Brad had ideas. They want even more focus on safe sex, real-world dating scenarios, and maybe even discussions about how sex is portrayed in movies—breaking down what’s realistic and what’s not.

One thing is clear: They’re not finished learning, sharing, or showing up. “Oh, heck yeah,” Heather answered when asked if she’d keep taking the course. Brad joked he might take a little break—maybe—but he’ll be back.

A Final Thought

Heather and Brad reminded everyone in the room that sexual health education isn’t just about preventing harm—it’s about building confidence, fostering communication, and empowering people to build the relationships they want and deserve.

And perhaps most importantly, they showed us that these conversations—when led with honesty, humor and heart—can change lives.

Meeting People Where They Are: The Intersection of Harm Reduction and Gentle Teaching

Speakers: Dave Lappin and Nathan Murdoch

In a moving and eye-opening session, Dave Lappin and Nathan Murdoch led a conversation that peeled back the layers on how we support people living at the intersection of intellectual disability, substance use and mental health challenges. Their session, “Harm Reduction and Gentle Teaching,” wove together storytelling, philosophy and lived experiences, reminding us what it truly means to care for others with dignity, respect and compassion.

This wasn’t just a theoretical discussion. It was a heartfelt invitation to see people not through the lens of their behavior or diagnoses, but through the lens of their humanity.

The Shifting Landscape of Support

Dave shared how their agency’s focus has evolved over the years—from primarily supporting individuals with intellectual disabilities in traditional residential models, to now welcoming people who often carry complex experiences with trauma, substance use and mental health.

Fifteen years ago, supporting someone who smoked cannabis or wanted a romantic relationship was seen as a challenge. Today, that’s the norm. As Dave said: “We’ve had to drastically change how we support folks, and more importantly, how we see them.”

The people they serve are no longer neatly categorized. They’re layered, like all of us. This has required a shift from systems of control to systems of care.

What Is Harm Reduction?

At its core, harm reduction is not about forcing change. It’s about meeting people where they are—emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

It doesn’t demand abstinence. It doesn’t shame or isolate. It accepts that people use substances for a variety of reasons—often rooted in trauma, pain, or disconnection—and it seeks to reduce the harm they experience, not the person.

Nathan brought this to life through stories and staggering statistics: In Canada, over 6,000 opioid-related deaths occurred in 2023 alone. That’s more than 16 lives lost per day—a reality we cannot ignore.

The power of harm reduction isn’t just in giving someone a clean needle or a safe space to use. It’s in offering relationship, respect, and reconnection. As one powerful video clip shared during the session put it:

“Harm reduction is the opposite of tough love. It’s love, period.”

Gentle Teaching: A Philosophy That Embraces

If harm reduction offers the how, Gentle Teaching offers the heart.

Gentle Teaching isn’t about correcting or fixing people. It’s about creating environments where people feel safe, loved, and truly seen. It’s about recognizing that everyone has the right to make choices—even risky ones—and that our role isn’t to judge, but to accompany.

“You wouldn’t let your child stay inside forever because they were afraid of the sun. You’d hand them sunscreen and walk with them outside,” Dave shared, quoting Dr. Adi Jaffe.
That, he said, is harm reduction.

Gentle Teaching and harm reduction share the same language:

• Respect
• Compassion
• Dignity of risk
• Relationship before rules

Why Language Matters

Words shape how we view people—and how they view themselves. Dave reminded us that describing someone as a “meth head” or “addict” reduces them to a label. Instead, we can speak medically and respectfully: “a person who uses meth,” or “a person navigating substance use.”

This is more than semantics. It’s about affirming a person’s worth. It’s about seeing their whole identity—not just their pain.

Creating Safe Spaces in Unsafe Systems

Nathan spoke passionately about the need to offer safe, trauma-informed spaces—especially when the system so often fails to do so.

Imagine walking into a hospital high, desperate for help, only to be turned away or judged. Imagine trying to make an appointment but being lost in a week-long spiral. For many people, that’s the reality.

At their agency, that reality is met with open doors, extra clothes in the office, and naloxone kits at the ready. It’s not enabling—it’s empowering. It’s saying: You matter, even when you’re struggling. Especially then.

Understanding the Roots of Addiction

One of the most powerful stories shared was the “Rat Park” experiment by Dr. Bruce Alexander. In it, isolated rats with nothing to do consumed drugs at high rates. But when placed in a stimulating, connected environment—Rat Park—they used far less.

“It’s not the drugs. It’s the cage,” Nathan explained.
Humans, like rats, are wired for connection. Remove that, and pain fills the void. Addiction isn’t just about substances—it’s about suffering.

What Now? What Next?

Harm reduction isn’t perfect. Neither is Gentle Teaching. But when practiced together, they offer something radical in its simplicity: love over judgment, safety over shame, and connection over control.

It’s time we recognize:

• That people who use drugs are people first.
• That not everyone will choose sobriety, and that’s okay.
• That one clean moment, one safe interaction, one compassionate conversation can change a life.

As Dave said, “Everyone who experiences addiction has experienced trauma.” That’s a truth we cannot unsee.

Let’s Keep Talking

This session was more than a presentation—it was a call to action.

To speak differently.
To support differently.
To see differently.

Harm reduction and Gentle Teaching remind us that when we choose love, safety, and relationship, we don’t just reduce harm—we create hope.

When we consider trauma-informed care, we think about healing—not just for those we support, but for the entire community of care. At the Gentle Teaching International Conference, I had the privilege of discussing how trauma-informed practices align with the Gentle Teaching framework. Together, these approaches create environments where safety, connection, and empowerment foster true healing.

From Pigeons to People: A Journey Toward Understanding

My journey in this field began in an unlikely place: training rats and pigeons in a behaviourist framework during my graduate studies. It was there I first realized the profound limitations of treating people like variables in a controlled experiment.

Years later, working in human services, I saw this approach mirrored in how people with disabilities were often labelled and managed. Behaviors were targeted, but stories were ignored. Interventions were implemented, but connection was neglected.

It wasn’t until I met John McGee, the founder of Gentle Teaching, that everything clicked. He reminded me of something vital: people need to feel safe, loved, and understood before they can thrive.

The Unseen Stories of Trauma

Trauma is pervasive in the lives of those we support. From experiences of neglect and abuse to the systemic trauma of institutionalization, the stories I’ve heard over my career are both heartbreaking and illuminating.

For example, James was labelled as “non-compliant” because he refused to shower. Only by listening to his story did we uncover the source of his behaviour: nightly hose-downs during his years in an institution. Similarly, Rashida’s cutting wasn’t “attention-seeking,” as staff believed—it was an expression of her pain from years of abuse and rejection.

These stories remind us that behaviour is communication. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with this person?” we must ask, “What happened to this person?”

Listening as a Tool for Healing

Listening is the foundation of trauma-informed care. It’s not just about hearing words—it’s about validating experiences and creating space for people to feel safe sharing their truths.

One of the most transformative examples of this was Tamika, who expressed her longing for a boyfriend during her annual person-centred planning meetings. For years, her team overlooked this desire, focusing instead on “practical goals” like cooking. When her loneliness led her to a dangerous situation, the response was to restrict her independence rather than address the root cause.

Only when someone truly listened and validated her desire for connection did Tamika begin to heal.

Key Principles for Trauma-Informed Care

1. Assume Trauma: While not everyone has PTSD, many have experienced trauma. Assume a trauma history and approach interactions with empathy.
2. Focus on Relationships: Healing happens through connection. Relationships—both professional and personal—are central to recovery.
3. Support Staff: Caregivers often carry their own trauma, compounded by vicarious trauma. Supporting their well-being is essential to maintaining a culture of gentleness.
4. Celebrate Joy: Happiness is a healing force. Celebrate achievements, foster connection, and encourage meaningful purpose in the lives of those we support.

Relationships Are Everything

Research supports what we’ve known all along: relationships are the key to a fulfilling life. The Harvard Men’s Study, which followed participants for 75 years, found that happiness isn’t about wealth or status—it’s about meaningful relationships.

For the people we support, relationships can be a profound source of healing. Whether it’s a friendship, a romantic partnership, or simply the knowledge that someone cares, these connections transform lives.

A Call to Care

Trauma-informed care within a Gentle Teaching framework isn’t just about understanding trauma—it’s about fostering safety, connection, and empowerment. It’s about recognizing the humanity of every individual and honouring their unique journey.

To the caregivers, direct support professionals, and leaders reading this: thank you. Your work changes lives. And as you care for others, remember to care for yourselves. Your happiness and well-being matter, too.

Together, we can create a world where everyone feels safe, valued, and loved—a world where healing is possible.

Quotes:

On Relationships and Healing:

“Love heals. Connection heals. Relationships are everything. We all deserve to be seen, heard, and valued.”

On Understanding Behavior:

“Instead of asking, ‘What’s wrong with you?’ we need to ask, ‘What happened to you?’ That’s where the real work begins.”

On Empowering Individuals:

“Every life needs meaning and purpose. When people discover their value and have a mission, they can move beyond their trauma and truly thrive.”

On the Role of Caregivers:

“The most critical people in our organizations are the ones on the frontlines. If we don’t value them, how can we expect them to show value to others?”

On the Importance of Listening:

“The biggest breakthroughs don’t come from behavior plans or rewards—they come from listening, really hearing, and understanding someone’s story.”

On Resilience and Advocacy:

“We are the bridge between the world as it is and the world as it should be. Every act of kindness, every moment of care, builds that bridge.”

On Finding Happiness:

“Happiness isn’t just for the people we support—it’s for you, too. Take care of yourself. Pursue your joy, because you deserve it.”

On the Value of Every Human Being:

“Every person’s life is as valuable as the universe. Let us never forget that profound truth.”