I am a firm believer that exercise is a necessary evil.
If I could get away with never working out I would be an incredibly happy man! However, there is something strange that began happening to me once I graduated high school; my ‘average size’ frame began morphing into something that resembled the shape of a Teletubby. What was described to me as the ‘freshmen fifteen’, in reality became the freshman thirty-five: I had lost control!
Instead of crossing my fingers and wishing for the weight to miraculously dissolve, I made the hard choice to eat better and begin working out. At first going to the gym was incredibly intimidating; but with every time I kept my commitment, it became easier and more comfortable. Once again I began noticing changes. I felt healthier, stronger and my shoulders became more defined.
Shoulder’s aren’t typically something that you wake up thinking about: unless you are an Olympic body-builder and yet my post today focuses our attention on this idea: Do not be dismayed, this is a challenge that runs significantly deeper than the physical. I believe that we as living and breathing people need to continually ask ourselves, ‘what am I able to bear and what is my breaking point?’ This question comes to mind after weeks and months of dwelling on the question “whose responsibility is it?” Particularly thinking about the disability sector and the desire on COR’s behalf to be leaders within our community by embracing Gentle Teaching—and challenging the status-quo.
Whose responsibility is it when the police are called to a house because of a yelling match between roommates? Whose responsibility is it when a customer in line at the grocery store glares cruelly at the person we support, and utters comments under their breath? Whose responsibility is it to put the house together after an escalation that resulted in property damage? I’ll stop here, but please don’t think that this is a compulsive list—No! It can entail anything and everything that falls within a grey area, including care for those that we support as well as those that we support with.
On going relationships should motivate us to dig into unconditional love and share the load of others burdens. Giving the emotional encouragement and mental strength, so that the love of friendship spurs on that individual to continue. We have often said that we desire to work in a community of like-minded people: in order to do this we need to learn to carry the burdens and stress of others. Assist where needed and when available in order to bulk up our shoulders.
From my meager perspective, the greatest way to do this is to question your intent in everything. Are you noticing the down-trodden parent, the intimidated support worker or the overwhelmed team leader? Or, are you so caught up in the happenings of your own life that others are hidden in the background: with a painted banner over their heads that convinces you they are “happy”, “fine” or “will pull through with time”. I am convinced that we need to learn to become more intentional, bend down to help the helpless and bulk up our shoulders to carry the burden of others.
Ben, Director of Culture and Mentorship
As a support person at COR, I have been privileged with the opportunity to support six incredible individuals so far. The way I try to create/maintain a culture of gentleness is by being patient, empathetic and having high energy. I’ve found that no matter how bad my day has been, any time I’m supporting I am much happier. Staying patient with the individuals I support has gone a long way for me in building trust and a relationship with them.
Because these individuals have been through so much in their lives, I try to empathize with them when they are having a rough day, rather than look down on them. This method has helped me as a support, but also as a person outside of COR. I find being patient and empathetic to everyone has great value and has made me a better person, friend, teammate, support and leader. Being high energy is important because many of the people I’ve supported feed off of that energy and it makes them happy or wanting to do something with me because they know I will be engaged and putting my full energy into supporting them.
Caleb, COR Support
The first image that is most likely to come to mind when I say ‘gratuity’ is that of a monetary tip at a restaurant. While in one sense, this is the very definition of the word; I believe that there is more to it than that. If you were too look up the definition of the word, you would first find:
1. a gift or reward, usually of money, for services rendered; tip quickly followed by;
2. to give something freely without claim or obligation.
As a former waiter I loved my job and the tips were amazing. But all too often that small (or large) monetary tip became an expectation. Fellow co-workers would often be found cursing out guests who didn’t leave anything; going so far as asking guests for tips. I found this strange and semi-disturbing.
This post isn’t to blab on and on about my past work experience, rather to challenge those in COR, and those reading, to make a conscious effort of living a life that is overflowing with gratuity. To clarify, I am not referring to tipping waiters and waitresses, rather to live life as an active giver. To the clerk at the grocery store give your smile. To the homeless man asking for money, give your time (and maybe a cup of coffee too!). To the sad and broken-hearted, lend your ear. To the stranger you just met who is cursing you out, be kind, compassionate and hold your words carefully.
The majority of us out there have heard the famous phrase by Mahatma Ghandi, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” While this isn’t an earth-shaking challenge, it is a world changing one! What will it take for the person looking back at you in the mirror to take the plunge, go all in and risk it all? When you give generously and graciously the world around your starts to change — and it’s a beautiful view!
Ben, COR Support