Love, Sex & Human Rights: Dr. Karyn Harvey on Why Connection Must Be at the Heart of Support
As Featured On: CBC Saskatchewan Morning Edition – October 2025
The Prairie Sexuality & Disability Conference – and Dr. Karyn Harvey’s keynote on love, relationships, and human rights – was recently featured on CBC Saskatchewan’s The Morning Edition with host Adam Hunter.
🎙 CBC Saskatchewan – The Morning Edition
At this year’s Prairie Sexuality & Disability Conference, day two keynote speaker Dr. Karyn Harvey delivered a deeply moving and hopeful message grounded in humanity, connection, and rights. Her session, Love, Sex, and Human Rights, invited attendees to re-examine the way support is structured and to centre something essential: every person deserves real love, real intimacy, and real belonging.
Dr. Harvey opened with a powerful reminder that loneliness is not simply an emotion – it is a public health crisis. Drawing on research highlighted by the U.S. Surgeon General, she noted that chronic loneliness can pose a health risk comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. It increases the likelihood of heart disease, stroke, and dementia. Neuroscience shows that exclusion even activates the same part of the brain associated with physical pain.
“We are biologically wired to connect,” she explained. When people experience isolation, exclusion, or a lack of meaningful relationships, the impact can be traumatic – especially for those who have experienced lifelong marginalization or institutionalization.
Loneliness as Trauma and Why Safety Alone Is Not Enough
Throughout her decades of work, Dr. Harvey has seen how many people experiencing disabilities carry layers of complex trauma, often linked to rejection, segregation, or the loss of meaningful relationships. And while support systems often focus on protection and safety, she urged the audience to recognize that safety is the baseline, not the goal.
People deserve the opportunity to build friendships, explore dating, and form chosen family. Yet, for many, their closest connections are with paid staff – not because staff are unkind, but because the system hasn’t always created space for natural, unpaid relationships to develop.
Meaningful connection, she emphasized, is not a luxury. It’s a human right.
Stories of Connection, Grief, and Possibility
Dr. Harvey shared several deeply personal and memorable stories – real examples of what becomes possible when people are supported to build relationships, and what is lost when they are not.
Christine & Derek
After the death of both parents, Christine withdrew from daily life. With grief support, community programming, and renewed connection, she began rebuilding her confidence. When she joined the singles group, she ultimately gravitated toward Derek – not her “assigned match” – and the two found a relationship that became a central source of stability and healing in her life.
Hinton & Mary
Hinton and Mary spent 30 years sitting beside each other at their day program in a state-run institution. They were known to everyone as a couple – but had never been supported to go on a real date, spend an evening together, or share a weekend.
At the first formal singles event Dr. Harvey’s team organized – a lively evening with a party bus, formal outfits, dinner, and dancing – they finally had their first real date. Hinton arrived in a tux and top hat; Mary wore a beautiful gown. They danced, held space for one another, and radiated joy.
“It was their first date,” Dr. Harvey said. “Their first date in 30 years.”
Their story became a touchstone – a reminder of what happens when systems gatekeep love.
Dan & Maria
Dan and Maria met at work and fell in love, though family fears initially kept them apart. With compassionate persistence and support, their families eventually embraced their relationship. They dated for several years before marrying – fully, legally, with intention.
Dr. Harvey described how their relationship sustained them, even through job loss and the stress of the pandemic. And when Maria later developed early-onset dementia, Dan became her source of comfort and strength. “I’ll never leave you,” he told her at a medical appointment. “I’ll be here for you.” Their story illustrated the fullness and dignity of long-term partnership.
Tamika: Loneliness as Vulnerability
Dr. Harvey also shared the story of Tamika, a woman who survived sexual assault. The root vulnerability, Dr. Harvey explained, was not disability – it was loneliness. For years, Tamika had told her team the same goal: “I want a boyfriend.” When that desire wasn’t supported, she sought connection where she could find it, without the guidance or safety she deserved.
Her story underscored an essential truth: connection is prevention.
Identity, Autonomy & the Role of Supports
Drawing on the work of Andrew Solomon and Erik Erikson, Dr. Harvey explained how people develop identity through both their families of origin (vertical identity) and their chosen communities (horizontal identity). Many people with disabilities experience disrupted vertical identities and lack opportunities to build horizontal ones, leaving them without a clear sense of who they are or who they belong to.
This, she emphasized, is where support matters most. Staff should not be someone’s primary relationship or surrogate family. Instead, they can be coaches and facilitators of connection, helping people build skills for communication, confidence, boundaries, and relationships.
“We help people with daily living tasks every day,” she said. “We can also help them build the skills for love.”
Choice, Rights & Modern Connection
Dr. Harvey challenged the sector’s tendency to talk about “choice” while only offering limited, controlled options. Real choice means real possibilities – dating, friendships, online connection, and the ability to explore relationships freely and safely.
She encouraged embracing modern tools – including dating apps designed for people with disabilities – while also prioritizing safety, autonomy, and informed consent. “Why shouldn’t people with disabilities use the apps that helped my own children meet their partners?” she asked.
A Human Right — Not a Privilege
At the end of her keynote, Dr. Harvey spoke from her own life: love has healed her, sustained her, and shaped who she is. She reflected on how fortunate she was to have had opportunities for intimacy and partnership.
“I had that right,” she said. “I had that opportunity. And everyone deserves it.”
Her message aligns deeply with COR’s values: people flourish when surrounded by authentic relationships, natural supports, and opportunities to connect in ways that are meaningful to them. Love, intimacy, friendship, and belonging are not extras. They are human rights – and they must be central to how we support people, always.
The person I aspire to continue to be:
